Where We Go, They Will Follow


While driving through town the other day, our family saw a dead baby deer in the roadway.  We were all immediately saddened.  It was such a strange sight to see a very young deer hit by a car.  My husband said it best during our discussion afterwards.  He said something like this, ” You know, that deer was just following his momma.  The momma deer lead her baby directly into danger.  She made it, but he didn’t.  That happens all the time with people too.  Some parents follow the world, and their children follow their example.  Even if the parent’s make it, that doesn’t mean their children will.”

How are we leading our children?  Are we searching for God’s truth with our every breath?

Our children are watching us…

When our oldest children were younger, I didn’t always lead the way I should.  I honestly didn’t quite grasp the enormity of raising children.  I guess I kind of figured that my kids would listen to what I said, and not do as I did.  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

During this time frame, I might,

Spout of feminist garbage about how women have it so badly

Disconnect myself from housework because of the unfairness of it all

Watch a PG-13 or R rated movie

Occasionally drink an alcoholic beverage

Listen to music with questionable lyrics from time to time

But this was okay, because I was an adult.   All the while, little eyes were watching me, wondering why this was fine for me and not them.  They couldn’t wait until they were older so they could become just like momma.

Then my children grew.  I began noticing character traits develop in them that I deemed undesirable.  When I took a look at myself however, the same character traits were staring me right in the face.  Please understand that during this time frame I was devoted to my children.  I was a great mother in the eyes of my friends and family.  I homeschooled my children, was their protector, and loved them immensely.  But I knew something was missing.

I began to really examine the direction I was leading my children.  Unfortunately most church folk acted exactly the way I did, if not worse! I had no truly Godly families in real life to look up to, so I read, then read some more.  I desperately wanted to do all that I could for my family.  My greatest hope was (and is) for my children to not fall away from the faith.  I praise God that He planted that desire firmly in my heart, and this was the catapult for me to make some changes in my life.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT)

God is no respecter of persons.  He doesn’t say, “Adults, you do these things, while children, you do something else.”  He wants us ALL to follow Him!  He wants us all to walk in truth and purity.

I knew that changes needed to be made.  Some painful.  Isn’t it funny how the flesh wants to cling onto ungodly things?  Basically, if it’s something that I wouldn’t allow my children to do, I don’t do it either.  The exception might be something along the lines of a marriage retreat, but that is all.  Everything that we do I try to line up with the word of God.  Do I fail sometimes?  Absolutely!  Do most people think I’m nuts? You bet!  No matter what I hear, I keep pressing on towards Jesus.

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14

The Holy Spirit’s sanctifying work on soft hearts can be absolutely amazing.  For example, while I used to wince at outright swearing on television and movies, now the “beep” that covers these words stir my spirit as well.  If there is a “beep,” we change the channel.  Commercials that didn’t used to bother me now do.  Clothing that used to not bother me now does.  I could go on and on.  Praise God that He is changing my heart to look more like His.

We might think, “My mother wasn’t the most godly woman, and I turned out just fine.”  This might be true sometimes, but not always.  Think back to the young deer in the road.  He was just following his momma’s example.  For example, mothers who drink casually very well might end up with alcoholic children, or worse.  These children were only following their mother’s example to begin with.

Baby Steps

If this is a struggle for you, please know that you are not alone.  Thankfully when we ask our gracious God to forgive us and change our hearts to turn towards His, He is faithful.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

If we keep our eyes on Jesus, leading our children in truth will become second nature. Our God loves us, and will help us as mothers if we ask Him.  Please remember that our children are watching our every step, let’s point them towards Jesus!

Be blessed!


You might also like:

Spiritually Guarding Our Children

A Mother’s Calling

Where are our Hearts?

10 thoughts on “Where We Go, They Will Follow

  1. Joanne Viola says:

    Thank you for sharing this. It is so true. When I had my first child, I made decisions that I do not regret & she is now 31 & my son is 25. Both love & pursue God. There is nothing that we will give up that is not worth it to know that our children love Him! I visited from The Modest Mom 🙂

    • Nicole says:

      It is so nice to hear from someone who has walked this road before me. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!

  2. Helene says:

    Yikes. Those are some sobering words. “He was just following his momma.” I’ve been on a journey too, to let God make me into a momma more worth following. Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. Sarah says:

    Thank you for writing this. I can relate to the challenge of finding women who share my values, even in my own church. It only pushes me closer to the Lord and His Word.
    God bless.

  4. Rachel says:

    With only relatively small children (5, 3, and one due any day now) I still can very much relate to what you’re saying. I just wanted to add that more than I want my children to abstain from bad things or “behave”, I desire for them to love God and love others. Its a fine line to tread between teaching godly decision making and legalism. I want my children to be able to judge what is right for them in each situation to do, but not have a heart of judgment towards nonbelievers or people struggling with certain things. I’m so thankful we serve a God who covers us with His grace, because I don’t feel like I’m doing a very great job all the time. This parenting thing is hard! Thanks so much for the encouragement involving such a difficult topic.

    • Nicole says:

      Of course we are to love God and others. That wasn’t the topic of the article, and therefore it wasn’t addressed. Also, it is legalism to believe that works save us. We are saved by God’s grace alone in faith alone. Christians are to produce good works once saved. Those works are the fruit of our Christian walk. Thank you for sharing!

      For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10)
      And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Cor 9:8)

      And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God. (Col 1:10)

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