I never gave much thought to having children during my own childhood. I was pretty sure that I would become a mother someday, but that was never my goal. My list of life goals while I was in high school went something like this:
- Finish undergraduate and graduate school.
- Have an amazing career making loads of money.
- Buy a really nice house.
- Buy a really nice car.
- Marry a handsome man.
- All the while staying slim, tan, and just all around fabulous.
Well, these plans were derailed when I discovered that at 19 I was expecting a baby. Then, the strangest thing happened. I also discovered that being a mother was something much bigger than myself. Something so grand, amazing, and wonderful I could barely believe it.
Why hadn’t anyone told me!? Sure, my mother had taught preschool for quite some time, and she spoke of how sweet little children are. All the while however, my parents and the rest of the world said that I needed to complete my above mentioned list before considering children. If I had known how wonderful motherhood was prior to having children, becoming a mother would be “the list.” That would be all. If I never accomplished anything else in my life, I’d know that I had accomplished enough.
So why does the world tell us this? Why do we only desire two, maybe three children after completing other goals we have set for ourselves?
We live in a world where selfishness abounds. Everyone wants the nicest house, newest car, and coolest things. We are afraid that children might drain our worldly means from us, and then we would miss out. This way of thinking turns children into a burden.
When we use birth control to limit our family size for the sake of obtaining worldly goods, we are turning children into a burden. When we put children at the end of our life list, we are turning them into a burden. The Word of God says that children are a blessing however.
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb His generous legacy?
Psalm 127:3 (The Message Bible)
The KJV states it this way:
Lo, children are an heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
God’s ways are not our ways. Sometimes when we follow the Lord, it doesn’t make any sense to our human minds. I’ve heard many times that “God has given us a brain to think.” That decisions regarding children are ours to make and not God’s. What does the Bible say about this?
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Our “understanding” never should take precedence over the word of God. If we think we have heard directly from the Lord, and those thoughts contradict scripture, than those thoughts are not from God.
When we have children, we are bring eternal souls into the world. Let me say that again. Eternal souls. These sweet children will be here forevermore, unlike our homes and other “stuff.” But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust does corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. Matthew 6:20. When we have children, we are thinking of eternity, instead of our own worldly comfort. For this we will be blessed.
God loves us. He will not give us more than we can handle. He cares so deeply for us, we should know that we can always count on Him, and we need not worry about our earthly comforts.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. …
Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
Our time on this earth is fleeting. The Bible says it is but a vapor! (James 4:14) One day in eternity we will look back, and this life of ours on Earth will seem extremely short. All of our earthly items will be long gone, and quite possibly beyond our memory. Having children isn’t that way at all, it is actually quite the opposite. If we raise our children in God’s ways and in His truth, the possibility of spending eternity with them is great. How wonderful a thought!
Be blessed!
~Nicole
*I know that I am not a doctor, and this advice is in no way to contradict doctor’s orders. I’m just sharing what God has laid on my heart to share. Thank you for being kind.*
Also, do you have an amazing birth, pregnancy, or adoption story to share? A story where the hand of God was mightily on you and your baby? I am looking to begin featuring these types of stories on my blog on a regular basis! If you have a story, please email me at childrenareablessing1@gmail.com.
Great post! Something that I have been praying about for a long time. I have 3 blessings, and would love more. However, my husband doesn’t have the same convictions. Regardless though I truly believe each child is a gift from God and our society has such a “burden” mentality about children. It breaks my heart when I am out with my 3 (sometimes 4 if I have my niece) and get negative comments about our family size. Our family is small in comparison to what I would like it to be. As Christians we need to write posts like this, and share with others what a true blessing children are.
Thanks Misty! My husband didn’t always have the same convictions as myself either. Keep praying. 🙂 While I could do nothing to change his heart, God definitely could. After the birth of our last child I was a bit fearful about relinquishing control back to God. My husband wasn’t in the least!
Great post! This is exactly what God has been teaching me the past 3 months or so. Problem is I am now 41 yrs and my husband had a vasectomy about 6 years ago. God has led me to repentance on this but now I’m not sure what to do. I keep praying for wisdom. Knowing what I now know about my body I would have to have future children completely naturally ie NO drugs at all. This is coming from a woman who has had 3 cesareans. My health is still not great, so I’m not sure what God has in mind. I would LOVE to have more children. He has totally changed my mind on this….I guess I wait to see the outcome of my prayers. It would take a miracle for me to give birth naturally. But he is the God of miracles, so I keep asking. Sharon 🙂
Keep praying Sharon! God is the God of miracles, and I’ve also read many wonderful reversal stories online. Amazing stories, where financially it didn’t seem possible. 🙂
I guess it all comes down to Trust. In my heart, do I feel I can trust him in this? Yes but I’m terrified. For me, it would be the equivalent of the parting of the red sea. I will keep praying. My husband’s vasectomy is irreversible so it would take an act of God as far as I’m concerned.
This is what God taught me on this issue last night. Cheers. 🙂 http://heleadsmesharon.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/another-baby.html
Sharon, have you considered snowflake adoption? Adopting embryos that are scheduled to die? I have some friends who are pregnant with one or two right now. They will have an ultrasound soon to find out. The embryos were created when my friends were children (20 yrs ago!). Most are destroyed after 10 yrs and the company that froze these babies said they would destroy them if they didn’t find adoptive parents. My friends have no fertility problems, they just want to care for the least of these and give these babies life!
Great post! I SO feel the same way. (I didn’t always feel that way) but….God has a way of changing my heart (as well as my husbands) and our plans! I couldn’t be happier!! Children are definitely a blessing from the Lord…..and I feel honored that He choose me to be a mom. (Just found out recently we are expecting our 8th child in December) Visiting from http://www.aheartforthehome.com Blessings to you!!!
Congratulations! I didn’t always feel the same way either. It actually took several years for me to come to this understanding unfortunately. God is so good, and he was so incredibly patient with me!
This was a beautiful post, but I just want to (kindly!) add something. My heart is still hurting after having to end my child-rearing. I did opt for a tubal ligation 9 months ago, after my fourth child was born. It had nothing to do with wanting more material wealth, or not loving my house full of kids. It was strictly that my body was shutting down. My fourth pregnancy was very hard on my whole family, as the weight of the baby on my deteriorating pelvis made walking near impossible for the duration of the third trimester and much of the second. I was in terrible pain all of the time, and that put tons of pressure on my husband, and greatly affected my mothering.
I had always prayed that God would close the door when I should be done having babies, and after very prayerfully considering it, we truly believe that God was telling us it was time. Now, my heart is still very sad that I won’t ever birth a baby again! But I feel like God is helping me through that, and reminding me that, for the sake of the four blessings I have, it was a decision that had to be made.
Children are a blessing–an enormous blessing. But sometimes God has given us the wisdom (and modern medicine) to close a door.
I respectfully disagree with you, but thank you so much for sharing! The Bible says that God can open and close the womb, and that is what my family stands on. My pregnancies have been difficult at times. My last pregnancy was plagued by a sub chorionic hemorrhage, and I was put on pelvic rest and modified bed rest for several months. Having my daughter was all worth it. Blessings to you and your family!
That is why we have a loving Heavenly father that can guide our lives . and that we can pray to cain the guidance and revelation that is right for us. The bible also tells us not to judge others also .
Cassie Arpin Stimson. I saw your comment and agreed with you. sometimes there are major health issues that would prevent you from having more children. And also very detrimental to your health and being pregnant would be dangerous for your health therefore affecting your ability to be a mother to your other children. I have a friend that nearly died in childbirth and her body was literally in shock her whole pregnancy. She prayed and felt that it was right for her family to take precautions not to be pregnant again.She has 4 children already. I believe Children are a huge blessing.I have 2 a boy and a girl and we wanted more, But were never blessed with more due to some health issues. I struggled for years with this reality. And was judged accordingly, By my friends with larger families. I prayed hard and studied and then Heavenly Father gave me peace in my heart that it was ok. I love to be a part of the lives of my friends children especially now that my own children are adults. And now realize the reasons behind not being blessed with more children. I have had many illnesses that have affected my life over the years . One being cancer and it put things into perspective. And I also think that some people choose not to have more children because they know what they can cope with in their life. And have also taken it to the lord in prayer too. And their choices weren’t monetary or worldly gain. That is what is great in this world that the lord has a plan for all of our lives and we can be guided in different paths sometimes. and Also that we shouldn’t be quick to say that having a large family or more children is right for every one. and those that choose not to have more children should not be chastised for doing so.
Hello Marie! I promise that I am not trying to judge anyone here. I am however judging birth control and it’s implications. We are to judge. John 7:24 says, Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. I am not judging birth control by an “appearance,” but by the Word of God and my own experiences. It is a slippery slope when we begin to “pray for guidance and revelation that is right for us” instead of turning to God’s word. That is how He speaks. No, having a large family isn’t for anyone. But that should be for God alone to decide. Sarah only had one child, Elizabeth had one child, and there are many other examples of such biblically. In fact, large families in the Bible seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Permanent birth control is the only procedure in medicine that purposely stops a natural function from working properly. God knows what “we can cope with,” and I’m trusting in Him to decide what is best for me. He knows far more than I ever will! Although this is difficult to think about, if He chooses to take my life during pregnancy or childbirth, I’m trusting that He has got it under control. He loves my children more than I ever will and ultimately knows what is best for them. I have some more information listed here: http://childrenareablessing.org/birth-control/ Blessings to you!
I thought I would share a story relating to this conversation to help put things in perspective. A friend of mine had several difficult pregnancies and, after her 6th child was finally ordered by her doctor to not get pregnant again or she would probably die. She and her husband were using non-permanent means to prevent additional babies (like condoms, but not hormonal birth control since that doesn’t prevent conception and normally just kills a fertilized egg, which they were not comfortable with). Despite their efforts, they got pregnant again anyway – even through “double” protection (2 condoms). And, despite a challenging pregnancy and the doctor’s concerns, she carried the baby to full term and both are alive and well today.
I share this not to judge others who feel they should make permanent changes to their body to prevent additional pregnancies. Instead, I share it to encourage other women to put their trust in an all powerful and all-knowing God who has a plan for us, our children, and our children’s children. Doctors do not know everything. They are consultants that we pay a fee to get their professional opinion. They are not infallible. We should consider their opinion and then pray to make our final decision based on clear guidance from God’s word and his spirit. -Again, I’m not saying anyone who chose to make a permanent change like tubal litigation did not do these things! I cannot judge or make that determination. All I can do is share this information and my perspective and knowledge to encourage anyone thinking of making a permanent change to know that others have been where you are and have witnessed the power of God in amazing ways by being open to him!
Thank you so much for sharing Rachel!
For some reason I cannot reply to Rachel (below this comment), but it would seem that your friends did not have as much sex education as they should have because “double” protection is almost as bad as not even using condoms. By using two condoms at the same time, the friction of the two condoms causes them to break and is probably the reason they got pregnant. Just thought I would share for those other couples who are unaware of this.
Thank you! I went on birth control when we got married because my husband and I agreed that we didn’t want children right away. When I went off of it over a year later, my body didn’t react well. Thankfully, we were able to conceive within six months. After our daughter was born, I knew that I never wanted to be on the pill again. God changed my heart, and I was able to let Him take full control. After our fifth child was born, my husband was very sure that he was done ( but I wasn’t!). He never did go and get a vasectomy done, and since then, we’ve had two more babies. Our children are such a blessing to us. We don’t have much material wealth or take big vacations, but we have a wonderful family. God has given us the privilege of being parents, and we love it!
How wonderful! I was on was on the birth control pill for a bit, and decided that during the middle of my cycle to stop taking the pill because my husband and I wanted to have a baby. I became pregnant immediately and then lost the baby to miscarriage. My doctor confirmed that this was due to the pill. We were so grieved! We are so happy that God has given us the privilege of being parents too!
We sadly decided to end our child bearing abilities with our last child. I have hard pregnancies and we have two children with a lot of needs. At the time it made complete sense. Now we are mourning that decision that took away our fertility. We both would love to have more children. Adoption isn’t an option for us for many reasons. So now we face the consequences of our actions. It’s a sad place to be. Yes, God still loves us. But that doesn’t mean the consequences are gone. Sigh.
Praying for you and your sweet family Kari!
Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I love this post!
Thanks Jennifer!
I found this blog through a link up and I am already in love. Thank you for this blog. Thank you for sharing the truth about birth control. Thank you for sharing it all with grace. I look forward to reading more.
Darby
http://www.darbydugger.com
Thank you for the encouragement Darby!
Thank you for hey nice post. I agree with you. Children are a blessing. I am so be glad to see that green and blue eyes around me. But I also experience grief. No one can leave your heart in splinters as your child, when it choose wrong ways.
Children are a blessing. Yes. I keep saying that and I have my six children.
Being a mom was always “my list”. Unfortunately infertility has dealt a blow to my list. I still agree with your post 100%, but it takes some of us longer than others to get to the goal.
God’s plan for us varies from person to person of course, and it’s wonderful that you had your priorities in order in the first place. Blessings to you!
I have many friends who feel God has called them to not use any birth control and I personally do not use any either. However many of my friends say that children are a blessings but do not act like it. They get overwhelmed when they find out they are pregnant. They are not excited about the thought of another pregnancy or another baby to take care of. It makes me very sad that they don’t have the heart for children that God has but they know they must keep having them. Having a lot of children has become a source of pride. If you don’t have at least 6 then you are not as godly as other families. People really need to search God’s heart and ask Him to give them the love of children. People need to have their own convictions on the use of birth control and not just always following what everyone else says they should or should not believe.
We all need to follow God’s Word, and not look to the world to answers. God’s Word is sufficient, and we shouldn’t make decisions based on our own feelings.
Of course. Women should just not say that children are a blessing when they don’t act like it. Very bad testimony.
The Bible says children are a blessing. That means that they are, no matter how we feel or act. Perhaps these women are standing on God’s truth, even when the going gets rough. Of course I do not know these ladies and their hearts.
I have seen and met women like Heidi is talking about and it does nothing for the gospel it honestly is hindering. These women who keep having children because your suppose to out of duty is nothing more than hypocrisy. I am not talking about a mom who has a stressful day we all have been there a time or two :0/ But there are women who consisting are ill tempered towards their children on a daily basis. You see them at the park or in the store or you go to church with them. They are not joyful women nor are they encouraging… It effects their children as well I have found that their children are not very honoring and they are mean spirited as well…. It has to be a heart change from the Lord not just ok the bible says so, so now I am going to obey without love….. Love for the Lord causes one to WANT to obey JOYFULLY!! Obeying for the sake of obeying with out love (change of heart) is just to me foolish and filthy rags…. Thats why I loathe when well meaning people say do it till you feel it :0/ so another words clean that outside and the inside will change…. Really because the Lord says the opposite clean the inside and the out will then be clean…. When I don’t see my children as a blessing I don’t “act” like they are I go straight to the Lord and confess my sin to Him and asking Him to change my heart It doesn’t change the Lord’s truth it changes me 0) I would just be deceiving myself and hiding my sin…. I am weak He is strong…. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9 What a Father and Savior we have! My problem is being ashamed when I sin and I tend to not go boldly to His throne ;0/ He is cleansing me of that slowly but surely!!
I always wanted to be a mom. In first grade, I remember telling everyone that’s what I wanted to be when I grew up. In high school, I never had college on the brain. I got married when I was 23 and not even a year later, I was pregnant. God has blessed us with 4 wonderful children. They are better than I could’ve even imagined! This year, I will start homeschooling them and we can’t wait! Being a mother is a lot of selflessness but it goes by so fast! We only have a short amount of time with them and I’m eating it all up! 🙂 Your article was great! It’s so nice to hear someone say they’re a blessing instead of acting as if they are a burden!
Thank you for sharing Heather! Your story is such an encouragement!
After our first child was born, my heart had changed about using birth control pills or other means. But then when our oldest just turned a year, we suffered a miscarriage. The next 7 months, I had 2 more m/c each ending at about 5 weeks. We went to an infertility doctor and he said I have paternal and maternal antibodies that cause my body to think the baby is an invader, thus causing a miscarriage once implantation happens. For me to stay pregnant, I need to take heparin from ovulation until the placenta is formed. For this reason, we absolutely have to make sure I do not get pregnant. I wish we could just “let things happen” on their own, but this would just end in heartache each time. Still coming to terms with it, but we are SO thankful I have doctors that ensure I have healthy babies!
Thank you for sharing.
Beautiful, Nicole, thank you! This is exactly how I feel and how my husband and I are convicted. God has chosen to bless us almost every year with a new little one, and for that I am SO thankful! I can’t imagine saying “no” to his very best blessings!
Thanks for linking with my Homemaking Party. I’ll be featuring this post here in a few minutes when I get the party up.
Blessings,
Sarah
Thank you Sarah!
This is such a beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Your post has been selected to feature on this weeks “Hearts of the Home Blog Hop” post on Monsters Ed. Congratulations!
http://monstersed.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/hearts-of-the-home-blog-hop-4/
Thank you for your post. This is an area I have struggled in because I am not convicted that having an open womb is an absolute for everyone…I understand that it is your conviction though. My question is, don’t you think God has a different calling for everyone? For example, I have a friend who’s son has a very rare skin disease that causes him great pain every day and there is no cure. They lost their first child to this disease as well. Because they have a 50/50 chance of having another child with it, they chose to not have any more biological children and are now in the process of adopting their foster child. Do you think it would be right of them to have more children and potentially pass on a horrible, painful disorder to another child? I believe that God had a purpose for their first 2 children and convicted them to take measures to prevent further biological children and adopt other children needing a wonderful, Christian home. Personally speaking, my first 2 babies were 20 months apart. Our 2nd child was born with a very rare syndrome. Before his diagnosis, we were not sure if we could pass on the same thing to future children but we chose to leave it in God’s hands and he blessed us with another beautiful and healthy baby 24 months later. However, our youngest is now 7 months old and I am once again struggling with this decision and feel that God may be telling me to wait a little while before conceiving again. My husband is in the military and just returned from a 7 month deployment to Afghanistan. In that time, I was a single mom to 3 children ages 3 and under, one with special needs who requires weekly therapy and has behavioral issues…all while living in an area where I don’t know anyone because we had just moved here when my husband deployed, and I could not attend church because of my special needs child. It was VERY difficult! My husband will be in the military for another 11 or more years and can deploy at a moments notice. He just returned last week and I have to tell you, I am completely exhausted and overwhelmed and ready for a break!! I cannot imagine becoming pregnant again right now. Not that God wouldn’t get my through it, but I believe that for my own sanity, I need a break. I believe the 3 children I have right now need my full attention and I believe that my marriage needs my full attention and if I were to become pregnant again soon, I think both would suffer. The house we are currently living in is the 11th house I’ve lived in since we were married 7 years ago. We move constantly. All this to say, my life is very demanding and exhausting and chaotic and while we are open to having more children in the future, we believe it might be the best thing to wait a little while…but I am still continually seeking God’s guidance and direction in this. I tend to feel a lot of guilt reading all the blogs and books on this subject. And I really struggle with wondering, “Is this really God’s calling for every married Christian couple?” I have a hard time thinking that it is, but can’t seem to get over the guilt for not believing like many others. I’m sorry I just wrote a novel, but I would like to hear your opinion on what I have said. 🙂 P.S. I forgot to add that my oldest child who is now 4, has been a very difficult child to raise since he was 11 months old. Most days are not at all pleasant living with him and it’s a struggle every day for me. And then there is my 2 year old with his specials needs (he doesn’t walk or talk) and his anger and anxiety issues are rough to deal with. So my 2 oldest are pretty difficult and while I love them with all of my heart, they are not a joy to live with every day. They are not a burden, but not a delight either. It makes me sad and I find myself envious of those who delight in all of their children every moment of every day! This is not preventing me from wanting more children, but just wanting a break for now.
Hello Brittany! My purpose for writing this post is to address the “children are a burden” mentality so prevalent in today’s society. So many Christians adopt this mentality, and choose to end their fertility without any true medical reason. In regards to your friend, God’s perfect plan did not include sickness and disease which are a direct result of sin. I can say that I believe permanent sterilization and chemical birth control is not God’s plan, no matter the circumstance. Raising children isn’t at all times delightful. But biblically, is delight what we should be striving for? Right now you are in the thick of mothering young children. That can be hard! I’m not in your shoes, but at one point I had 3 children 3 and under, and was widowed. It was hard! I’ve learned that when thinking eternally instead of physically in the present, my attitude changes. I’ve asked God to give me a love for children, and to keep my thoughts on Him. He has truly changed my attitude towards children. 🙂
An excellent message. Thank you.
I just wanted to let you know that I added your post to my “Favorite Friday” list today. Every week I pick a few blog posts that I thought were awesome and share the links on my blog.
http://wifethenmama.blogspot.com/2013/06/strawberry-gleaning.html
Thank you Rachel!
Thank you for this post. It really encouraged me. 🙂 Motherhood is a hard road and sometimes we truly feel OUR way is somehow superior to our Creator’s way. We can be so prideful….. Again, thank you for this wonderful post!
Congratulations! I have featured your post at Mommy Mondays! Please come by and pick up your “I’ve Been Featured” button and link up again!
http://bestlifemistake.blogspot.com/2013/06/mommy-monday-week-11_23.html
Just found this blog, and just found this post. Thanks for having the courage to write it. I too often write “to address the “children are a burden” mentality so prevalent in today’s society.”, as you put it. thank you for sharing your heart! I also discovered the beauty of motherhood when I found out at nineteen I was pregnant. I saw that on another one of your posts I read tonight. Anyhow, it seems we have a bit in common 🙂 Hope to come back soon and check out more of your posts! But right now we are pretty busy planning our trip to Georgia to go adopt our son, due August 24TH!! 🙂
Love this post! I actually referenced you in one of my papers for school! 🙂
God Bless,
Leon
Nicole, I recently found your blog and I don’t think that it was by accident. God has really been speaking to my heart lately about giving my fertility to Him. My husband is against this idea and I understand his concerns. I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place so to speak since we area also called to submit to our husbands. Prayers and/or any advice would be appreciated!
Shanon
Hello Shanon! I would suggest…pray. And then pray some more. I myself wouldn’t feel comfortable taking birth control pills, even if my husband wanted me to, since I view that as a sin. But I wouldn’t be able to prevent him from his side of it, if you know what I mean. My husband once felt pretty much the same way…after our fourth he said no more basically. I begged to try for our fifth. By our sixth God changed his mind, and now he is less fearful to have babies than I am! That is totally of God. I will be praying for you. 🙂
How ironic that I found this website. This very thing — the blessing of children vs the burden of children — has been on my heart for over a year now. It’s been hard giving up the secular-inundated mentality of needing to limit children for various reasons (not being able to afford them, needing to accomplish other things first, needing to space them out “just right”, thinking I can’t handle more, etc.) But I’ve been convicted lately of not taking God’s promise seriously that he gives sufficient grace for our needs and calling. While I may believe I can’t handle more children on my own (which would certainly be true) the biblical truth is I CAN handle anything with God’s blessing and grace. God tells us through the Bible that children are a blessing and the love of money is a curse, yet children are the only blessing we don’t want much of!
Great post! Ever since I can remember, my own “List” consisted of 2 things.
1. Get married
2. Have lots of kids
In THAT order.
I didn’t care about going to college and making money. I wanted to be a mom and a homemaker (which I am now). And so far, God has blessed us with 4 children, I can’t wait to have more, if that’s God’s plan for our family. This is also the first year I’m homeschooling.
I have several friends who regret ending their fruitily. But I do think it isn’t clearly a sin. I agree the pill is evil and ends a life much of the time. Preventing the egg and sperm meeting is different and doesn’t seem to be so cut and dry. Granted there is the OT story of spilling seed. I have friends where both have several serious diseases, crohn’s, lupus (they both have each of those) and each have others I can’t remember at the moment. The decided that since they would pass on crohn’s and lupus so end fruitily before having children and adopting. They are open to adopting as many children as God will bless them with. Life is hard for them managing these diseases and some birth moms it seems have ruled them out because of it. Some people also end fertility in order to adopt.
I love this post. I grew up with similar goals to you; finishing college and finding my perfect career were my main focuses. Now I am a stay-at-home mom and wife and truly feel at peace; this is what God has made me for! Earlier in life, I thought being a mother would drain the fun out of life, but that was such a lie from the enemy.
Children are an amazing blessing from the Lord and they are eternal, unlike a career, expensive cars, or homes!
Thank you for sharing this! Amy @ http://livinglifetruth.blogspot.com/
Awww I read this RIGHT AFTER I just replied to your other comment back to me about the birth control and my other worries, and where I confessed to you that I am guilty of buying my kids the ‘best’ of clothes and shoes because I never had that growing up. This post has opened my eyes to a lot of things, so thank you and I dont think its coincidence that I read it right after the other comment reply 🙂 I look forward to sharing with you about my new blessing when God decides to bless us with another child! thank you 🙂
I’ve been reading your blog for a year and just now found this post! LOVE it! I grew up with the birth control mentality – children must be strictly planned, and only one or two at MOST. But the Lord has done an amazing work in our life! We started out on the pill when we married, then moved to NFP when we found out about the abortifacient properties of the pill, and from there finally stepped out in faith and have been trusting the Lord for His plan with our children (rather than our plan) for two years. It’s not easy – I have had incredibly difficult pregnancies – but it has been an incredible blessing. I’d encourage anyone to take the plunge and accept the blessings that the Lord gives. It’s a wonderful way of life. We are now expecting our first “planned unplanned” baby.
Either God knows what He’s doing in the conception of each child… or He doesn’t. If He does, then He’s trustworthy!
Diana
Thank you so much for sharing Diana!
I’m still not exactly sure how children are a blessing. I’m 34 and my wife and I just gave birth to our first child, a son. He’s a week old today and I have yet to see what people are talking about. So far, it sucks to be honest. Too much responsibility and when he cries, I want to fill my ears with glue so I don’t have to hear it any longer. Maybe I’m just frustrated. My wife and I have tried for 2 years and maybe I just hyped this all up. I don’t know. All I know is that the bible says they are a blessing, so I’ll take Gods word for it. For now, I’m just not seeing it. All I see is a little human that eats, poops, and cries, which annoys me and keeps me up…….obviously I need to pray about this. Just needing to vent….
Aw Luke, I will be praying for you. Parenting can be hard! Sometimes we need to take a step back and focus on the big picture. Your little one will grow up one day and hopefully will do mighty things for the Lord.