Our Modesty Transformation – Part 2

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…

1 Timothy 2:9

The year was 1994, and I had just tried out for the 8th grade cheerleading squad.  I was very excited, but looking back now, this was one of the worst decisions I ever made.  To me, it marks the beginning of a falling away from my Lord, and a struggle with sin that would last almost a decade.  Our skirts were short, and we rolled them up to make them even shorter.  I’m not sure if this is a problem now, cheerleading skirts are so miniscule that they don’t even really look like skirts any longer.  In the 9th grade our competitive cheerleading squad purchased skirts without pleats for the first time ever.  I still remember the controversy today.  Our coach fought tooth and nail for those skirts, and they finally were approved. We were only allowed to wear them on campus if we wore our warm up pants underneath.  I wonder if the same rules apply in public schools today.

Along with the cheerleader status came attention from boys.  Which in turn lead to immorality in the name of popularity.  Yuck.  Mommas, please be careful of worldly influences you allow your children to be exposed to, which in my case was public school.  The pull of the world can and will snare your daughters, even if you bring them to church.  In the 10th grade I was named Homecoming Princess for my grade level, and by the 11th grade, I was tired of it all.  I stopped caring so much about being “popular,” but did still dress immodestly.  Which included midriff baring tops, very short skirts, etc.  If my mother did object, I always won, and wore what I wanted.  After all, she had bought all these clothes for me, right?  It was the norm; everyone dressed this way.  I attended church, but modesty was not taught in the least.  My parents had decided to move from the church of my conversion to a “full gospel” church when I was in the 8th grade as well, and my relationship with the Lord suffered.

It wasn’t until my first daughter was born when I nearing 20, that I really decided to take a look at my clothing choices.  I wanted to look like a mother, and not a teenager.  Everyone said that I looked young for my age to begin with, so I wanted to dress a bit more conservatively.  At this point I made sure that my midriff was covered, and my skirts were at least mid thigh in length.  My bathing suit choices were still very poor however.  I did this for me, so that I would feel better about the way others saw me.  I still did none of this for my Lord, and had not attended church since I was in high school.

I met my amazing husband when I was 23.  My first husband had passed away, and I was living by myself with three young children.  One of the first things that we did is begin attending his aunt’s church once we started dating, and around that time my relationship with the Lord was finally restored.  I attended a local, contemporary church a handful of times in the years prior, but that church really just put a band aid on my sin.  I really yearned to seek the Lord, but still was holding onto the world.  I was so happy to be back in church, but the importance of modest dress still wasn’t taught however, and I dressed how I pleased to a great extent.

…to be continued.

15 thoughts on “Our Modesty Transformation – Part 2

  1. Meghan Carver says:

    I love reading others’ stories of their transformation. Found you on the Modest Mom and looking forward to more. (I’m your newest email subscriber.) Blessings! 🙂

  2. Marty says:

    I blogged on modesty this morning so when I saw the title of your post linked up on Teach Me Tuesday I had to click through and read your thoughts. I was raised in a christian home but modesty wasn’t a priority…we knew where the lines were but skated as close to them as we could. My parents did the best they knew to do but the typical evangelical church is quite silent on the matter.
    My husband and I certainly are doing it differently with our girls though and thankfully we have a good solid community of like minded believers.

  3. Misty@Mimi's House says:

    I am really enjoying browsing around your blog, and love these posts on modesty! Someone told me when my daughter was young (not even 1) that if I was serious about modesty I needed to think about what I put her in now, not when she was a teen. That has stayed with me and my girls have never wore bikinis, short skirts, halter tops or spaghetti straps. I have a love/hate relationship with tank tops (the wide strap ones) and have been praying about whether or not to take those out of our home. Thank you for broaching this subject and for sharing your story.

  4. Dusty @To the Moon and Back says:

    Your story sounds a little similar to mine. While I was never an immodest dresser by the world’s standards, I certainly didn’t mind getting the wrong kind of attention in certain types of outfits. It was the birth of my daughter that also made me start to take a look at how I was dressing as well. Stopping by from the Raising Homemakers link up!

  5. momstheword says:

    I remember rolling my skirt up in 8th grade too! I also remember sneaking makeup. I’d apply it when I got to school and remove it before I came home.

    Love the comment about deciding modesty issues while your child is still young. When our kids were little we decided they could group date at 17 and car date at 18. That way, we didn’t “surprise” them with it one day. It’s just something we told them over the years.

    Can’t wait to read the rest in the series! Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday”!

  6. Tulip says:

    I am loving reading your story! I was a cheerleader when I was in high school. We HAD to wear our short skirts to school on game days! Now, I would never let my child wear anything close to that let alone be a cheerleader. Thanks for being honest and telling people how God wants them to be! I would love for you to join my modest Pinterest board. Let me know!

  7. Kasey says:

    I’m going to have to go through and read this whole series! I graduated in 1994 but just a few years before that I had been on the cheerleading squad wearing one of those itsy bitsy skirts while being the basket-toss girl who was exposing the gymnasium to my bloomers! Your story sounds similar to mine so far. Thanks for linking it up at Walking Redeemed!

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