Beyond Skirts – What Modesty Looks Like In Our Family

Our family follows a few other modesty guidelines as well.  I’m sharing them with you below!

Guidelines we use while choosing tops.

 We pretty much buy any type of top, as long as our midriff is covered.  How do we make a low cut shirt modest?  We wear undershirts!  By wearing an undershirt most of the time, this problem is solved with tops.  No more worrying about flashing someone while picking my baby up off of the floor!  By adding a tank worn backwards under most of my existing shirts, they are so much more modest.

How did you decide what length of skirt (or shorts)  is modest?

And you shall make them linen trousers to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:

Exodus 28:42

Take the millstones, and grind meal: uncover thy locks, make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers.

Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen: I will take vengeance, and I will not meet thee as a man.

Isaiah 47:2-3

This verses tell me that a good guideline for determining skirt length is whether or not our thighs are covered.  We use this standard in choosing skirts and at times shorts.  Sometimes my younger daughters where skirts that are shorter than knee length, and I make sure they wear leggings underneath in these scenarios.

Again, this is a good guideline to follow as a general rule.  At times I do allow my daughters to wear clothing that does not cover their thigh!

What about other scenarios?

My daughters are dancers, and during dance class they wear the same attire as everyone else. (Which is a leotard and tights.)  They attend a Christian dance school.

I allow my daughters to take gymnastics classes from time to time.  In fact, my eleven year old was once a level 8 competitive gymnast.  I don’t mind their legs being uncovered at all since this is important due to safety concerns with equipment.

I don’t really worry about modesty with my babies.  I do not put them in bikinis, or let their little tummies show however.  Onesies can be adorable and cool in the summer months.  Also, crawling can be difficult in a skirt or dress!  Once my babies begin enter toddlerhood, I usually try to dress them more like my older daughters.

We feel like it is important to make sure our underwear straps and lines are covered.

We wear swimwear that is much more modest than most, but I’m a little more relaxed with our clothing choices while swimming.

What about the boys in your family?

We like for our boys to keep their shirts on at all times.  This includes while swimming.


I recently picked up a little book at a church we’ve been visiting.  It is called, Dressed to Kill; Thinking Biblically About Modest & Immodest Clothing by Robert G. Spinney.  It is a quick read with some great points!  Here is a small excerpt:

To be sure, Christians can handle the subject of immodest clothing in a clumsy, unbiblical, and grace-denying fashion.  That’s a problem.  But surely ignoring the subject is not the solution:  by doing this, we imply there is no such thing as inappropriate clothing.  God’s people cannot afford to ignore this issue.  Why not?  Because Christians who think unbiblically about this issue don’t naturally gravitate toward more modest clothing.  As is true with other aspects of living the Christian life, we never “drift forward.”  Holiness and spiritual maturity must be pursued (Hebrews 12:14).  That pursuit of godliness should be marked by diligence (2 Peter 1:10, 3:14).  Our mind’s default settings are not godly: it is the renewing of our minds that produces spiritual transformation(Romans 12:2).

Sometimes Christians dismiss the issue of modest clothing as trivial.  It’s not.  After all, it was God who noticed the first clothing ever invented, judged it inadequate, and intervened to replace it with apparel of His own making (Genesis 3:7).

If you have any other questions concerning how we choose to dress, please just let me know!

Be blessed!


23 thoughts on “Beyond Skirts – What Modesty Looks Like In Our Family

  1. The Provision Room says:

    Would love to read more posts about modesty for boys. (I have five! and two daughters.) Modesty is almost always addressed as 1. a topic for women and 2. only focused on clothing. And yet, I’ve found that boys can be just as immodest, because modesty is first and foremost a heart condition. And clothing standards for men are important, too.

    Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful posts!!! (Stopping by from Making Your Home Sing Link-up!)

    • Nicole says:

      Thank you Meghan! I love your series as well! I’ve actually have tried to comment, and for some reason I can’t figure out how to do so on your blog. You are doing a great job encouraging other ladies. 🙂

  2. Mrs. White says:

    Thank you for mentioning that book. It looks great!
    You are doing a wonderful job encouraging modesty!

    Mrs. White
    The Legacy of Home

  3. Kari says:

    You mentioned wearing tanks backwards. I was in the store the other day looking for a tank to use in a camisole fashion when what did I walk up on but a tank that’s designed to be worn the “right” way (with a V-neck) and “backwards” with a high neck. It was perfect for what I wanted. There is no tag in the neck area on either side (it’s an actual tag down low near the waist). But I thought I your blog when I saw that. I wear them a lot now that I have found them and they are so soft, wonderful, and fit the bill.

  4. kristin says:

    I usually wear tanks under shirts but never thought to wear them backwards…what do you do about the tag? All the tanks I own have a printed tag, but when wearing them backwards, it’s still slightly noticeable. What’s your solution to this problem?


    • Nicole says:

      Hey Kristin! I normally look for tanks without the printed tags. Sometimes I wear shirts with the printed tags, but I will then usually wear a necklace as well. It really is only noticeable to me I believe. 🙂

      • kristin says:

        I don’t think I’ve ever seen tanks that didn’t have tags…most of mine come from Target or Old Navy…and they all have the stamped tag in the back…oh well… I tried wearing one backwards today and I liked how it looked…maybe no one will notice the tag! 🙂 I enjoy your posts!

  5. Sarah says:

    Wearing the tank backwards — why have I never thought of that!? Great tip!

    Even though our daughter is only 2, I have her wear leggings for any dresses or skirts that are at all above her knee. It’s a cute look!

  6. momstheword says:

    I have really enjoy your series!

    Although I never minded if my boys went swimming without a shirt, we always had a rule in the house that they always had to wear shirts. Even my husband wears shirts in the house.

    When my kids were younger they had a young friend who would come over and the first thing he did in our house was take off his shirt. I would remind him that everyone wore shirts in our house and he would obediently put it back on, lol!

    In his house he and his dad would go without their shirts during the summer but, as I said, we had different rules at our house! Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday!” today!

  7. Kasey says:

    This whole series was EXCELLENT! I have loved reading how your family approaches modesty and have been inspired by your testimony. I am featuring this on my link up this week. Thank you so much!

  8. Melissa says:

    There is a family in our church that has 8 girls. The mother and girls wear skirts all of the time., as we do in our family. I over heard a comment from a group of teen boys when they were teasing about “who would they marry”. And one was teasing the other about choosing one of “those girls”. The other said what the little house on the prairie girl with the long skirt. It came to me that we need to teach our sons as well as our daughters about modesty. Thank-you so much for your posts. God’s Blessings.

  9. Beth Hogan says:

    Hi Nicole,
    I loved Spinney’s book on modesty so much that I wrote a review of it for my own blog. About an hour ago, I was contacted by a woman that had read the review on my blog informing me that my link to the free PDF of his book led her to an obscene picture (the same link that you have here). So, after I removed the link, I did a search for other free copies of the PDF on the web- and I found your sight. It looks like the enemy has been planting tares on your sight too- because when I clicked your link to it- sure enough, I got the obscene picture. By the way, I like your blog- keeping living for HIM!!! Beth Hogan

    • Nicole says:

      Thank you so much for the heads up Beth, I just removed the link as well. It is such a shame! God bless!

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