Earlier today, Stacey from Abiding Woman shared an excellent message by Paul Washer on the topic of recovering biblical womanhood. I watched it about an hour ago, and one of his main discussion points was discretion in dress.
The Lord has worked on “recovering” modesty in my dress over the past three years, and more recently, my heart has been concerned about discretion. Discretion is a modesty issue as well. You see, if we aren’t discreet and bring undo attention to ourselves with our clothing, then the clothing isn’t modest, no matter if it covers appropriately or not.
I am not saying that our clothing or accessories can’t be pretty. Take a look at the world around us. It is beautiful, and is all a part of God’s creation! Godliness does not equal plainness. We do not serve a boring or plain God!
That being said, I adore large earrings, and some of my tops are patterned rather wildly, or with jewels. I’ve felt a nudge to tone it down in these areas, and I’m slowly beginning to change my wardrobe.
While my #1 priority is to serve my God, another concern of mine is to be a good example to my daughters. Over the past few months I’ve had to talk “discretion” with my teenage daughter on a few occasions. Thankfully the talks have been graceful, and I haven’t had any rough moments with my almost fourteen-year-old (as of yet). We’ve been able to share from our hearts and appreciate what each other is saying.
A few verses that I use when discussing this topic with my daughters are:
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments…1 Timothy 2:9
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion…Proverbs 11:22
While 1 Timothy 2:9 is specifically talking about discretion in dress, we should teach our daughter’s to be discreet in our speech and actions as well. What is the best way to do this? To model it ourselves! We cannot expect for them to be discreet if we are not first.
Believe me, I am not immune to following trends without thinking discretion first. A few years ago I was this close to putting a streak of pink in my hair! I thought the trend was cute, but in the end, discretion won out.
Above all, we need to maintain a spirit of grace, since the definition of discretion will most likely vary from family to family and from culture to culture. We can see however that we shouldn’t dress in such a way to bring undue attention to ourselves. Would I love it if the “rules” of discretion were more plainly spelled out for us. I believe that so many women do not think of this as something applicable to today. Or they might think of discretion as an abstract quality that does not apply to appearance.
How does your family practice discretion?