Christian Women and 50 Shades of Grey

When the 50 Shades of Grey book was released some time ago, many of my professing Christian friends sang it’s praises.  I actually was defriended on Facebook by several people because I called it pornography.  Well, it looks like the movie release is now imminent, and I really feel the need to speak out against this movie.  A warning bell needs to be rung for my Christian sisters!

I truly am not trying to condemn anyone, that is not my job.  It is my job however to “expose darkness” for what it truly is.  Many Christians say that they are not interested in the movie, or that they find it to be silly, but they aren’t calling it what it really is.  Sin.  If we do not keep our gaze fixed on Christ, we can easily become desensitized to the sin of the world.  If we ever begin to think that any type of fornication is “normal” then we must repent and turn our eyes back to Jesus and His Word.

So, is this just a harmless movie?

I will walk in my house with a blameless heart.  I will set before my eyes no vile thing.

Psalm 101:2-3 (NIV)

From the book Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney:

So can we say like David, “I will walk in my house with a blameless heart”? Have we purposed not to see, read, or hear any vile thing?  Or are we taking liberties where we shouldn’t?  Do we watch any unwholesome movies or television programs?  Do we read worthless materials–such as romance novels or magazines–that tempt us to sinful fantasies?  Do we listen to ungodly music that stirs up impure thoughts?  If we answered yes to any one of these three questions, we must expunge these practices from our lifestyle. p. 90

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Not only should we abstain from watching immoral movies, but books and songs with the same message as well.  In 2 Timothy 2:22 we are told to “flee youthful passions,” and 1 Corinthians 6:18 admonishes us to “flee sexual immorality.”  The word flee indicates that we must do more than just walk away slowly.  We are to turn quickly and totally from this temptation.

Although Psalm 101:2-3 speaks pretty clearly about keeping our eyes focused on purity, I also would like to note that Jesus was also pretty clear that adultery does not include only physical acts.

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28

Looking is all it takes, ladies.  That is all!  If we look to anything other than our husbands with thoughts of desire, than we are sinning.  The same goes to single women.  Those thoughts should be saved for your future husbands alone.

I know that for many of you, your husband might look at pornography.  You might think, if he does it, why shouldn’t I?  I looked for statistics regarding pornography use in men just a few minutes ago.  The articles and results I found were very disheartening.  Any article that I looked at quoted that basically all men have looked at pornography at one time or another.  And pornography isn’t the only problem here.  Last week I was unloading groceries into our van and I overheard a conversation between two married couples walking to their vehicle.  One man said something like this…Yeah, we are married, but I look at girls all the time!  I look at their b**bs and their b**ts, and everything in between that strikes my fancy.  It’s normal!  I literally wanted to cry for the wife who quietly walked by his side.  We are currently reading through 1 Thessalonians during family devotion time, and we came to a passage about sexual immorality and defrauding.  During the conversation, my husband said that he is around married men through work who comment on other women’s body parts on a regular basis.  If a number of men make comment, just imagine the many more who have the same thoughts and do not voice them!  (Which is all the more reason to dress modestly.)

If you are a Christ follower, no matter how hurtful your husband’s actions might be you must flee from any of the same temptations that you may face while steadfastly praying for your husband.  Seek Godly counsel from your pastor and his wife.  We can find comfort in the following verse:

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

God is faithful, and He is our Redeemer!  He can (and will) completely transform our lives.  If we do not have a problem with 50 Shades of Grey and believe that we are a Christian, then we probably need to reevaluate some things.  Sisters, this book and movie should grieve our spirits!  Get into God’s Word, and ask Him to lead you.  In Hebrews 13:18, Paul writes, “Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things.”  May our desire also be to act honorably in all things!

Comment Policy:  Dissenting comments are permitted, but please do not comment in rudeness or anger.  Thank you!

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

James 1:19-20

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31 thoughts on “Christian Women and 50 Shades of Grey

  1. caitlinshappyheart says:

    Amen sister! This is so true. Sexual immorality is permeating through our culture. We should not be accepting it. I thank God for your courage to speak out against it.

  2. Elisha Ross says:

    50 shades is fiction and as a book is a form of escapism. I honestly wasn’t a big fan. I thought the whole story line was a load of crap. If people do want to read that kind of stuff, each to their own. However I don’t see it as a sin reading it necessarily and I am a christian. I certainly don’t see the need for a movie like this where we are already in a culture where sexual immorality is rife and its so in your face. So many more young people will watch this because its in movie form and more accessible and that is going to be a sad day when they are all saying how cool it was, have you seen it kind of stuff. Hopefully it gets toned down a notch and other narratives like self esteem, loneliness etc are more prominent. Unfortunately in our society sex sells and this movie will too. We can only be good role models to our kids and talk the talk and walk the walk and condone and speak up against many of the issues you have addressed in your post when it is necessary. Thats what we as a society should be doing all the time whether we are Christian or not.

  3. Jo says:

    Most of my non Christian friends thought it these books were tasteless and pornographic, and this was from non Christians women, and they certainly wouldn’t see the film. We should be filling our minds with what is pure, this is not.

  4. Sweet-Water-and-Bitter says:

    I did not read the book although I am quite familiar with what it’s about. I glanced at it in Target one day and satisfied my suspicion (as a writer myself) that it’s a bad piece of junk literature, on top of objections we may have as Christians. But here is what occurs to me….look how American women lapped up this book, and tell me there is not a deep desire for submission wired into their brains! Of course, the kind of practices that I understand are mentioned in the book are a perversion of that natural desire. But still—it’s there! Trust me, my sisters, there are better and more satisfying ways to fulfill that longing…with your husband!……………….Kim

  5. Nannette and The Sweetheart says:

    I had never even heard of the book until I started seeing all of these blog posts popping up everywhere. And thank goodness they are. Although this movie seems to be the bottom of the barrel, there are hundreds and hundreds just like it out there…they are still demoralizing, full of lust and immorality. It is so sad that anyone wants to see it, especially a child of God. Jesus, help us and come quickly!

  6. Jessy from Our Side of the Mountain says:

    18 months ago my husband of 18 years suddenly walked out on me and our 3 kids to “live out” his porn fantasies. The effects of porn can be break-up families and cause emotional harm to children. (I am now in a relationship with a Godly man and it’s INCREDIBLE how different it is.) Mainstreaming “light” porn is only going to desensitize both men and women to its effects, and society does NOT need that. I read the first of the books in the series and found it lacking in so many ways! (I am visiting for the first time from What Joy is Mine.)

  7. Debbie D says:

    Good for you for you posting this!!!! Very well written!!! I want to add posting on your Christian page is a great way to reach non-Christians too as I know they exist on your feed as well! It also has given us ladies strong in our faith an opportunity to share this with our friends who think this material is OKAY! I have been waiting for just the right person to write about this with just the perfect articulation and solid scriptures to back it up! Just because this is a Christian page doesn’t mean we as Christians should not be actively praying,discussing and sharing ways to encourage one another and sharing the scripture out of love and concern for our fellow Brother/Sisters in Christ who are falling/have fallen away from God! There is so much bad in this world and the good news is that we are NOT OF THIS WORLD and our Savior will return one day and take us home to a life of eternal happiness. However, while we are are here during our temporary stay, we are commanded in the bible as Christ followers to witness and share what we know with all sinners…remember Jesus came for the sinners! At the end of the day….We are all sinners but if you know someone needing spiritual guidance pray for them, approach them with love and scripture to back it up! Not many people can do that! Be Blessed!

  8. Michelle says:

    Wow. Thanks for taking a stand on this. I think in this day and age, Christian woman are less likely than men to view pornography as a posing problem. I think it can be just as easy for women to sin! It’s kinda funny – I wrote about something similar last week, about what we choose to put in our lives – will it lead us closer to Christ or away? Thanks so much for your honesty. Visiting from Considering Grace (through Make your Home Sing)! Blessings.

  9. Robin says:

    I love that there is ultimate grace in Christ…I am, however, so saddened that many of us use that as a ticket to dabble in anything that peaks our curiosity or satisfies some hidden longings and desires we might have. Bottom line for me is always, if I’m the only bible people read, what will they see? As any of us, despite our backgrounds and theologies, know, the red-letters in the bible say some pretty straight forward things about all of the stuff that apparently saturates the pages of these books. It frightens me how women (and men) have flocked to this book. Didn’t I hear that it’s the highest selling book of all time? Is that even over the bible? I don’t know…but doesn’t that make your heart sad, regardless. I so hope, as Christians, we can be the examples of what is intentionally admirable, pure, lovely, true….and just overall, moral and decent! I don’t want to be holier than thou….but I’d like to strive to be holier…

  10. Sarah says:

    Thank you for writing this. I remember selling it @ the bookstore I worked at. It disgusted me. Many times I came home and told my husband if I have to sell another book like this, I am going to scream or throw it. I am not putting my marriage in jeporady because of one book.
    In an age where what is right =wrong and black is white, and this more sexualized culture is not what God wants. He wants our eyes toward him and everything. One saying/BSF (Bible Study Fellowship principle comes to mind: Christians have more to offer the world than the world has to offer to us. We offer thee world a true light and a way to come to him.

  11. Alexandra says:

    And aside from the whole pornography issue – it isn’t even well-written! I tried to read it to see what the hype was about, and didn’t even make it to the smut. It truly was that terrible, and I am a voracious reader who read some terrible, cheesy Harlequin romance novels back in the day.

    It was terrible fan fiction from terrible original source material. There’s plenty of romance to be had from classic fiction. Surely we can all do better than this?

  12. Lauren says:

    I totally agree, the book speaks soulfully about sex. Sex is something between husband and wife. The book disrespects its beauty.

  13. Renee @Doorkeeper says:

    I teach English in a Christian high school & have spent my career trying to help my students identify & love books that have value. So I agree with your post & am saddened that so much in our culture speaks to our old nature. Life is short—we need to be uplifted! I’m visiting from Capturing Your Moments blog link-up. Thanks so much for sharing this. Blessings!

  14. Sergio DaCosta says:

    Thank you for speaking the truth how it really is… and for your influence in my daughter.

  15. happy momma says:

    I can’t believe how this book has brought out the worst in people! I too have gotten snubbed for calling this book what it is. I have lost many facebook friends myself because of it. My sister in-law said to me that she was going to read it because she had heard it was a good book. I asked her “why, would you read a pornographic book” She said to me “really? is that what it is” and I said, “yes, I haven’t read it but I have heard enough to know it is smut” She said that she didn’t believe me. because she trusted this friend who recommended it to her.

    I haven’t seen the trailer for the movie, but my husband said it was utterly disgusting and he was shocked by it (this by a man who has been enticed and involved but currently breaking free from the grips of pornography) I am amazed at the Christian women with blinders on that think that movies aimed at men are bad. They will stand up against pornography for the sake of their sons and husbands, they talk of how bad it is for the men to look at porn. Men looking at pictures is bad,but a book, how harmless can that be? And now the book that I really enjoyed has been made into a movie! I am so happy! Somehow they rationalize that it is different for them and that they won’t get hooked. It is pure craziness.

    Women are being pulled into the mainstream of pornography at an alarming rate. It is becoming acceptable as more and more women are becoming pulled into pornography, it is not just a man thing! 50 shades of gray is Pornography directed at women and they are eating it up like hungry wolves. It is an incredible thing to watch. I never imagined such things happening especially coming from my Christian sisters.

    There is hope, there are groups of people out there who have had enough! There is a real revolution going on among the young people. It is exciting to see them band together! They will make a difference, and those of us Christian women who still love goodness and righteousness can band together behind them in a stance for the right and good things.

  16. Trisha says:

    It is so sad that our culture calls this trash entertainment! How many people (and kids) who wouldn’t have taken the time to read the book will now be degraded by this movie? It makes me so angry that sin tricks people into thinking that the thing that will destroy them will somehow bring happiness. For instance, the feminist movement says “throw off constraints, flaunt your body, be promiscuous wo consequences, kill your unborn children, be empowered” , all the while promising fulfillment. But instead of being empowered and valued, women end up being objectified, dishonored, and abused when we (as a culture) reject God’s ways in favor of man’s ideas. so sad.

  17. JMulkey says:

    I was actually appalled and disturbed at the popularity of such trash. I have not read the book, but know women who have, who though it was ok. I know women who are NOT Christian who loved the book. In my opinion, soft porn in print is still porn. It is very sad that women are falling for this trash, and calling it ‘art’.

  18. Hollie says:

    Easy solution if you don’t like it then don’t read it or watch it. People recite the bible but she marries him in the books and doesn’t the bible say women submit to your husbands? It even says if a woman is raped her rapist is suppose to marry her. I dont the the bible should be a resource for moral guidelines.

    • Trisha says:

      Biblical submission has nothing to do with a woman allowing herself to be abused, treated as an object, or raped. The Bible also says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.

  19. JMulkey says:

    And this is how such trash (the book) spreads, and truth is distorted. It’s ok because the woman marries him. Not trying to start an argument with anyone, but does anyone see the irony in this? Where is the respect that is supposed to be in any Holy Matrimony? It’s called ‘Holy’ for a reason. If there is no respect for a woman, then there will not be much that is holy in the marriage. Bondage is a disordered condition. Regardless of what our society says in this world today, truth does not change. And evil never becomes ‘good’. If you give up one iota of truth, then where does it stop? And the Bible has been a resource for moral guidelines for over 4000 years, so why should it not be now? Are we so advanced, so morally upstanding now that we can dispense with any type of guidelines on how to live? And why shouldn’t people recite the Bible? What exactly is wrong with that? Submission is not bondage. Not in any way whatsoever.

  20. kedsstuff says:

    Thank you for your stand against the demobilization of this dark world. We can’t change anyone but we must set the example as to what a true Christian is! We are to be salt of the world… By our life we are to be such examples that others thirst after The Lord ! How much can we sin & be like Christ? Or how much compromise can we make & be a Christian? NONE! Praise God for His truth that sets us free from the bondage of this world. God Bless !

  21. mamahenspeaks says:

    I don’t know you, Nicole, nor even your blog until today. I only just found your blog via Pinterest with your post on character traits to teach children. I came here to read the character traits and loved it. But my heart sank when I saw your side bar titled “Christian Women and 50 Gray Shades.” I was afraid it was one more foolish woman who was being sucked into the culture. I clicked on it to give you a chance, and am so grateful that I did. Thank you! You are a wise woman who understands what so many foolish, gullible women do not. You might check out another blog by Matt Walsh who speaks on this same issue. His website is: http://themattwalshblog dot com and his July 25, 2014 post is regarding this atrocious movie. (Each new post is on the top, so you only have to go down a few days to the article “To the Women of America: 4 Reasons to Hate 50 Shades of Gray”.) I think you and all your readers will be encouraged and uplifted if you read it. Thank you for your postings about children and about guarding ourselves from the culture around us.

  22. Donna says:

    I guess I just don’t understand why this is even an issue among Christian women. I was amazed at my Christian friends reading this……It really never occurred to me that this would be something Christian women would be drawn too. I guess I am just naive. My heart is broken that friendships would be fractured over something so wicked. Are we so desensitized by the world that we have forsaken whatsoever is pure, honest, just, lovely and virtuous for a cheap substitute?

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