Have you ever struggled to keep your cool with your children? With seven children, I have been there. The struggle is real! I can have the best intentions, but when the baby is crying, the toddlers are fighting, and the middle kids are complaining simultaneously it is difficult to keep my cool.
I have resolved to stop yelling. I’ve made it months at a time without raising my voice at all. But somehow, I always fall back into the trap of loosing my cool (and self-control).
But mommas, there is hope! We can find victory in this when we stop looking to ourselves and ask the Lord to help us with this problem. Today I would like to share a few ways that have helped me begin to win this battle!
- Fill our cup with God’s Word. Even if we have just a few moments to read the Bible, let’s use this time to recharge. Leave a Bible open on the kitchen counter, post Bible verses around your house on post it notes. Do whatever works for you depending on your season of life.
- Create an environment of peace. An environment ripe with overstimulation can lead to yelling in a hurry. Play calming music, dim the lights, and enforce time outs before the need officially arises to keep the peace in your home.
- Be humble. The Bible says that “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6, Proverbs 3:34) We must humbly take responsibility for our own actions. While it is easy to blame our children’s misbehavior as the reason why we yell, in doing so we are justifying our behavior. This leads to pride and a self-righteous spirit. Mommas, let’s remember that when we humbly admit our shortcomings before the Lord, He will impart grace that will give us the power to change our ways.
- Find a verse to speak when our tempers begin to rise. My verse is part of 2 Timothy 2:24…”A servant of the Lord must be…gentle to all.” In context, Paul is writing to Timothy about how to handle those who are opposing the truth. A fruit of the spirit is gentleness however, and I do consider myself to be the Lord’s servant, so quickly saying this verse to myself when my temper begins to rise usually helps bring a sense of calm to the situation.
- Abide in Jesus. In John 15:5, Jesus says, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” We must abide in Christ by reading His Word and remaining in prayer. We can only produce the fruits of gentleness and self-control by abiding in the true vine. If we try to produce these fruit apart from Christ, it will be “false fruit” and will not last.
Finally, let’s remember that if we do lose our cool, we should repent and keep pressing forward towards the goal of gentleness and self-control. In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul says, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” With God’s help, we can do this!