Hope for the Mom Who Yells

Have you ever struggled to keep your cool with your children?  With seven children, I have been there.  The struggle is real!  I can have the best intentions, but when the baby is crying, the toddlers are fighting, and the middle kids are complaining simultaneously it is difficult to keep my cool.

I have resolved to stop yelling.  I’ve made it months at a time without raising my voice at all.  But somehow, I always fall back into the trap of loosing my cool (and self-control).

But mommas, there is hope!  We can find victory in this when we stop looking to ourselves and ask the Lord to help us with this problem.  Today I would like to share a few ways that have helped me begin to win this battle!

  1. Fill our cup with God’s Word.  Even if we have just a few moments to read the Bible, let’s use this time to recharge.  Leave a Bible open on the kitchen counter, post Bible verses around your house on post it notes.  Do whatever works for you depending on your season of life.
  2. Create an environment of peace.  An environment ripe with overstimulation can lead to yelling in a hurry.  Play calming music, dim the lights, and enforce time outs before the need officially arises to keep the peace in your home.
  3. Be humble.  The Bible says that “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6, Proverbs 3:34)  We must humbly take responsibility for our own actions.  While it is easy to blame our children’s misbehavior as the reason why we yell, in doing so we are justifying our behavior.  This leads to pride and a self-righteous spirit.  Mommas, let’s remember that when we humbly admit our shortcomings before the Lord, He will impart grace that will give us the power to change our ways.
  4. Find a verse to speak when our tempers begin to rise.  My verse is part of 2 Timothy 2:24…”A servant of the Lord must be…gentle to all.”  In context, Paul is writing to Timothy about how to handle those who are opposing the truth.  A fruit of the spirit is gentleness however, and I do consider myself to be the Lord’s servant, so quickly saying this verse to myself when my temper begins to rise usually helps bring a sense of calm to the situation.
  5. Abide in Jesus.  In John 15:5, Jesus says, I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”  We must abide in Christ by reading His Word and remaining in prayer.  We can only produce the fruits of gentleness and self-control by abiding in the true vine.  If we try to produce these fruit apart from Christ, it will be “false fruit” and will not last.

Finally, let’s remember that if we do lose our cool, we should repent and keep pressing forward towards the goal of gentleness and self-control.  In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul says, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  With God’s help, we can do this!

41 thoughts on “Hope for the Mom Who Yells

  1. Sarah Ann (@faithalongway) says:

    Oh how I needed this today! Yesterday was less than stellar in my house and my temper was to blame. I needed the reminder to start my day in the Word and to grab a hold of this and not let go! I’m sharing this on my FB page and I am so glad to connect via Inspired Bloggers. I’m a new follower! 🙂

  2. Lux Ganzon says:

    I’m not a mom yet but these are really good words to live by. 🙂
    Will keep these in mind. I look forward to reading more from you. Glad to have seen your blog in the Monday link up.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Great post! This is something I struggle with too much. I come from a family that raises their voices easily and always heard “That’s just the way we were”. A few years ago I learned that just because that is what comes natural to me, it doesn’t mean it’s ok or that I need to raise my voice. It is definitely something that I am still working on though. I like to use James 1:19 “My dear brothers take note of this, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” I found that if I stop myself from responding too quickly I can usually be a little calmer. Thanks for the great reminder! Stopping by from Mom 2 Mom linkup.

  4. Deborah says:

    I grew up in a family where my father just communicated by yelling–all the time. I was afraid of him and it hampers our relationship to this day. At 75 years old now, he still yells. I’m with Stephanie on this one. Just because we grew up this way doesn’t mean we have to pass it on.
    Nicole, I love how your steps include to be humble and repent. Being parents does not excuse us from belittling our children. Our actions have consequences on little hearts.Thank you for truths.

  5. sharonspad1 says:

    Just popping over from How To Get Organized At Home and just wanted to say thank you for sharing. It does make you think about how actions can affect others! Thanks again for sharing!

  6. Veronica says:

    Such a great post. I really needed to read this. I am in my final trimester of pregnancy, and the mood swings have kicked in. I have had such a challenging time trying to keep the peace within myself and my home. I have been praying for guidance and am grateful for this bit of encouragement. Thank you.

  7. Mary Carver says:

    These are good tips, and I’m glad I read your post. I definitely yell MUCH more than I want to! I’ve fallen into the trap of feeling like my daughter JUST WON’T LISTEN unless I’m yelling. *sigh* I know better. Thank you for the reminder to DO better, too!

  8. Gena says:

    I’ve never made it for months at a time–I pray I’ll get there! I love the idea of creating a peaceful environment. Thanks for linking up at “From House to Home!”

  9. findingourfeetorg says:

    Thank you for these reminders. I’m feeling a bit stretched thin today and am normally not very impatient, but find days like these harder than the rest. Reading your words have helped. Thank you. I found you at From House to Home. God bless.

  10. Dawn Boyer says:

    Wise words here! It is so easy to fall into the pattern of yelling and I have found when I exercise self-control they tend to as well. Proverbs 15:1 often filters through my head, (sometimes after I have lost my quiet voice) :(, but it reminds me that there is always hope to be changed by His promises and help them also be wise. And also, I have found that their forgiving hearts when I mess up are just another image of His mercy in my life.


  11. Kathryn Shirey says:

    Needed this today! Never imagined I’d be a mom who yelled, but some moments are just too much. Thankful for prayer and God’s grace for these moments when we fall short.

  12. Serena @ Simple Holistic Girl says:

    This was very, very encouraging. It is so, so easy to loose our cool as moms. When your kids are all at it at once it’s like the perfect storm. I have only 3 so I can only imagine with 7. God bless you. Visiting from #thrivingthursdays

  13. Susannah says:

    I grew up in a home with a lot of yelling. Since that’s my go to way of handling stress reminders like this are wonderful! Thanks for linking up with the Faith and Fellowship Blog Hop!

  14. Sarah Ann (@faithalongway) says:

    My heart is so blessed in reading this again! I can raise my voice with the best of them and totally agree that God gives us what we need for a spirit of self-control. It is through Him that I am able to speak with gentleness in moments when I am less than calm. This fabulous post is featured at the Sat. Soiree & Social Media Share this week! I hope you plan to join in the fun again this week!

  15. A Mama's Story says:

    Just letting you know that this post is among last week’s featured! (Sorry for the delay).
    I’ll share it across social media this week. Thanks for linking up at A Mama’s Story. 🙂

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