I’m a member of a large homeschooling group on Facebook, which has many differing opinions, to say the least!
I have remained in the group because I value the input I receive there. At the same time, sometimes it’s really difficult to keep my mouth shut when a question is thrown out there.
Not too long ago, the question, “Is it selfish for me to take a vacation without my husband and children?” was asked.
Many women responded with a resounding “no.” I couldn’t help myself, and so I quickly typed the word “yes,” and hit send. (I was the only one out of around 100 women who said “yes,” and so I was a little scared about the possible reaction, ha!)
Only a few weeks ago, a different member’s husband went on a “vacation” by himself, and the consensus was that he was most definitely a cheater. I was really left scratching my head as to why if a women vacationed by herself it was okay, but if a man did, he was a cheater.
Why the double standard?
I also wondered what the children would think. How would they feel once they realized that they were something their momma needed a vacation from? I was a super sensitive child growing up, and I know I would have been heartbroken once I realized my mother wanted to take a vacation by herself.
I would like to say that I believe to a large extent, our culture has bought into the lie that “me time” is necessary. I truly believe that it isn’t.
Let me explain.
Our job as mothers is to fill our children’s cups, and sometimes we need a recharge. I totally get that! But the problem begins when we attempt to recharge ourselves with the things of this world, which will just leave us empty handed. We have bought into the lie that “me time” is necessary. However, I truly believe that it will somehow leave us empty, always longing for more. Being alone will not somehow magically cause us to recharge.
When we fill our cups with God’s Word we will be recharged. Spending time away from our family on “girls night out” will not.
Spending time in God’s Word or in Christian fellowship with other like-minded ladies fulfills recharges me. Spending time with my husband working on our marriage does the same thing. Spending time with my children can actually be a recharge.
I really must say, that at this point in my life, I much prefer being with someone else rather than being alone. God has placed these little people in our lives for our benefit! When the room grows quiet, and I’m alone to think about the day, I miss the wonderful feeling of being surrounded by my sweet family. I didn’t always feel this way, and I’m so grateful for the huge perspective change the Lord accomplished in my life over a decade ago. I pray that my mothering is gospel-centered, and involves a sacrificial love which does not think of myself. I wouldn’t trade this loud and crazy life for anything in this world!
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