For a little while now, I’ve been studying marriage, and how I can become a better wife to my husband. Yes, I’ve been married to my amazing husband for over twelve years now. And yes, this is obviously my second marriage. (I was a widow for a short time.) You would think I’d be a pro by now.
But unfortunately, I most am definitely not! My husband Rusty is pretty much the greatest. Yes, he has his flaws, but don’t we all? Anyhow, we have grown to learn each others strengths and weaknesses over the years, and overall, I feel like we have a strong marriage.
But…I like to feel like I have control over every situation in our lives. I like to “wear the pants.” I’ve really been convicted of this recently, and I think I know why.
In the garden of Eden, part of the curse that was befallen to women was that we would want to control our husbands, but they would rule over us. This controlling need that I feel is a curse!
In our culture, this curse is celebrated. We ladies are told that we are to be strong, to be assertive. To be controlling.
But as a new creation in Christ, I don’t want to walk in this any longer. I want to joyfully submit to my husband, as the church is told to submit to Christ. This teaching is counterintuitive, and it feels wrong to those of us who have become desensitized to our culture. Just as Satan deceived Eve, I fear that he is doing the same exact thing now by deceiving ladies. He tells us that our controlling tendencies are a good thing. This is simply awful! The deceiver is pulling ladies away from their Biblical roles, and to a place where they pit themselves against their husbands. Marriages are being destroyed, and families are being torn apart.
One of the best gifts we could ever give to our children is two married parents who love and care for one another. Children whose parents are married are much more likely to succeed in life. They need this stability.
Learning about this teaching has been hard for me. At first I wondered why something that came so natural to me (control) could be wrong. The fact of the matter is, many times my fleshy impulses are wrong. Once I realized this, I began to make a change. It might sound crazy, but I’ve found that such a calming peace is available to me if I step into my Biblical role as a wife.
I’ve been testing this out the last few weeks. I’ve determined to not be controlling when it came to my husband, and our household has run much more smoothly. If we have differing opinions, I let.it.go. I’ve stopped trying to be his Holy Spirit. Have I had to bite my tongue at times? That’s a big yes! But I pray that with God’s help becoming a supportive and submissive wife will become easier for me.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I would love to connect with you on Facebook. I’d also like to invite you to my Mary & Martha Facebook Page, and to my Mary & Martha website. It is a such a blessing to serve you!