Oh, boy. This year has been a doozy for me. After moving to South Carolina, I thought the transition would go fairly smoothly. We moved to an area with not much around, which is totally different than what we were used to in the metro-Atlanta area.
One of the first things I did was try to find a ballet school for my girls. They really enjoy dancing, and they had learned ballet in a Christian environment for years. The nearby schools were either competition based, or their Facebook profile picture showed girls with hands on their hips and bare midriffs. (For the record…been there, done that. My seventeen year old likes to tease me about how I used to tell her to shimmy harder at dance competitions when she was nearly a baby wearing a bikini. Yes, I know. What was I thinking?? God was so gracious to open my eyes to my huge error!)
And so I looked further, and we ended up at a secular school with a civic ballet company nearly 60 miles away. Again, what was I thinking? I was determined to give my girls some sense of normalcy after our move. Forget the fact that my husband repeatedly told me that this was a bad idea, and I pretty much completely rebelled against him in the name of our girl’s “best interest.” About a week ago we were discussing the story about Saul’s unwarranted sacrifice in 1 Samuel as a family. Samuel said that rebellion is the same as witchcraft, and yes, I was certainly behaving like a witch when I went against my husband’s wishes.
Over time I realized the error of my ways, and I pulled my daughters from the program as soon as the season was over in March. But it was too late. An unsavory relationship had formed, and I’ve found myself crying out to God for forgiveness and redemption. Why oh why had a placed my children in an ungodly environment?
It was a moment of utter surrender. While I fully realize that our sin nature does not need any help when choosing the wrong path, we still need to commit all our ways to the Lord, and associate with likeminded people. We are struggling here, since likeminded people are far and few between. I am out of my comfort zone.
But God has ordained us to be here. He has called us to be His peculiar people, and that I definitely am.
Lessons have been learned. I highly doubt I will ever enroll my daughters in any type of dance program ever again. This comes from a huge nudge from the Lord and my husband that I’ve felt for about ten years now. He has opened my eyes to so many pitfalls, and I can’t ignore them any longer. Even in Christian programs, there is so much pride. So much focus is on the external. Body lines need to be just so, along with performance make up and such. My modesty convictions have increased a lot this year, too. I just can’t do it any longer.
Where does that leave me now? I’ve given my broken pieces to my Savior, and He has started to put this situation back together. I’ve repented (turned from) my error, and have asked Him to give me the strength to discern His will. Friendship with the world is enmity with God.
The Lord has offered me redemption, and sweet mama, He has offered this redemption to you through His Son also. There is no mistake too great for Him.
Psalm 130:7 says, Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.
From the Strong’s Concordance, another word for redemption here is deliverance. We have such hope in God to redeem and deliver us. He is merciful and mighty. And yes, this verse most definitely applies to us as believers, since we have been grafted into Israel, or God’s chosen people, through the blood of the Lamb.
His redemption is plenteous. There is more than enough to go around! It overflows, and covers us just when we need it most. Our job is to repent from our error and seek Him with our whole hearts.
Be encouraged today, mamas. Many blessings as you serve your families through His strength!
6 thoughts on “Redemption from my Mistakes as a Mom”
I have been there also Nicole. I have felt the regret of how I raised my children and treated my husband. The word of the Lord is true and it is what we are to follow. I applaud your testimony and hope others will come to the Lord also. A relationship with Him and doing His will is the only way to get through spiritual darkness. When we are with the Lord and walk in His ways the darkness cannot dwell there! Isn’t that awesome! Love your blog. Thanks for sharing!
Yes, His ways are amazing! Thank you so much for the encouragement!
Thank you for this inspiring post Nicole. In the past, I have done things that I thought were completely acceptable to the Lord. When I look back now, I am appalled and wonder the same as you – ‘what was I thinking?’ It is so good to know that we have forgiveness and guidance – when we search for it and are open to the truth. i see so much more in the Bible now than I did several years ago. We really do need to have our minds renewed, and I hope I am finally in the process of doing that.
Thank you, Grace! You’re right, the renewing of our minds through the Word is so important. I’m so thankful for forgiveness and guidance, too!
Thanks so much for extending God’s redemption and grace to us moms. I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I appreciate how vulnerable you are here. It’s a wonderful, convicting reminder to obey my husband, and keep our values for modesty and godliness for our children when it’s hard! ❤
Yep, sometimes I definitely learn lessons the hard way. I’m so thankful for God’s grace!