Over the weekend, my family had the opportunity to visit our oldest daughter who recently started college. She is living three hours from home, which has been hard on me. I miss her so much, and these feelings coupled with pregnancy hormones are not a good thing, ha!
Since she has left, I’ve really been reflecting on both my parenting through the years, and how I parent now. Have I done enough? Do I do enough? I can’t help but think about the many times where I made the wrong choices. The lost opportunities. I was young when I had my first born, only 19. I loves her fiercely, but I still had so much to learn. The Lord had yet to refine me into the believer I am today, and I made a lot of bad choices about the influences I let into our home and the way we spent our time. When she was very young I encouraged feminist thought, which goes against every fiber of my being now. Entertainment was paramount, and it wasn’t until she was about 10 when the Lord began opening my eyes to the beauty of obedience and holiness instead of following along with the cultural Christianity we were used to.
I’m a different mother now, for sure. And yet I know that I still have so much growing and stretching to do. Sanctification is an ongoing process. In these days between the Feast of Trumpets and Yom Kippur, I’ve really been examining myself. There is still selfishness I need to set aside. I still definitely make mistakes as a mother.
The years have flown since I’ve had my firstborn. Seriously, it’s like I’ve blinked and she turned into a young lady. I’m very grateful that I will always be her mama, and I will always have opportunities to show her my love. I’m so thankful for my other seven children still at home. I’m thankful for the Lord’s mercy when it comes to my mistakes. My little ones are definitely experiencing a different childhood than my oldest crew!
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves in tender compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience—
Colossians 3:12 TLV
The Lord has really been impressing the importance of humbleness and gentleness on my spirit right now. Oh, how I long for these qualities to shine through in my mothering. Our children are our most precious gifts. Time is fleeting, and the Most High can use this time to lead our children to Him.
How we spend our time matters. Our actions and words matter. How we love our children and husband matters. When God’s love truly reflects through us, we are giving our children a glimpse of who He is, and His life changing power to make a new creation out of brokenness.
I truly hope your week is blessed, ladies. Let’s love our families well!