Ladies, I’m knee deep in newborn care at the moment. My days are filled with making sure our newest guy’s needs are met, and it is a blessing to do so!
Related: Our Ninth Child’s Birth Story
My parenting philosophy has changed throughout the years. Starting with our sixth child, my care philosophy changed to what I would call “attachment parenting.” I had studied out many different methods and I decided that this philosophy would probably match my parenting goals best. I had learned how taxing crying or “crying it out” could be on baby’s little systems and I wanted to avoid this at all costs.
This article and study helped me to make this decision. From the article:
A study has found youngsters who are deliberately left to cry themselves to sleep eventually appeared to settle themselves without being comforted.
But, it found, their hormone levels showed they could remain just as ‘stressed’ by the experience as if they had remained crying.
The method, sometimes called ‘controlled crying’, has been a popular parenting choice, with some believing it trains babies to settle into a routine.
So yes, I wanted to avoid crying when possible! Our sixth child was a very happy child when I was with her, which was the vast majority of the time. The same can be said for our 7th and 8th children.
So far, Moses is a super happy baby as well. He is held pretty much all of the time, which is definitely a perk of large family life! I’ve made him my priority. While I do realize that new babies need to fit into the family’s schedule, I put high value on his needs as well, since I believe Moses is forming important connections about trust in his little brain right now.
Right now this looks like nursing on demand, baby holding/wearing, and co-sleeping in a very safe environment. To help his little tummy out I’m avoiding most dairy and sweets.
As a mom, I realize I’m called to care for my baby 24/7. This can be hard at times, but it is so worth it. Our little ones are used to a warm and safe environment in our wombs, and I believe they thrive when we give them the closeness they continue to crave.
The last sentence is key: Little ones are snug, warm, and tightly held to Mommy right until birth, and then they are whisked away (in a traditional hospital setting) to be examined in solitude for a few minutes on a cold scale (no wonder they are crying) before being returned to Mommy. The old-fashioned idea that the baby should sleep by himself in his own little bassinet and should be left to cry simply makes no sense and was instituted by ignorance based on convenience for everyone but the baby!
In short, there is nothing to be gained by forcing a newborn to be alone and needy. In fact, it is horrifying. Please continue to share your wisdom and insights. The world needs what you have to say. Thank you.
Yes! I completely agree.
I began “attachment parenting” a couple of weeks after my first child was born, though I did not know what it was called at the time. I was initially given bad advice to let my newborn cry in her crib. This only led to an angry baby, a depressed momma, and a very sleep deprived daddy. We began co-sleeping and everyone was happy (and well-rested). I did the same with my 2nd, 3rd, and now my 5-week old newborn. I treasure this special bonding time with all of the baby smiles and snuggles. Congratulations on your newest little one.
Thank you so much for sharing, Jenny!
Congratulations on the birth of Moses Benjamin. Welcome to the world Moses Benjamin.
Marilyn and Marion
I totally agree. Can you imagine being left alone after being in a warm snug environment for so long. I did the same with my first baby. I literally wore him. It was the most amazing thing. I don’t care how old they a are but babies need that touch to feel safe, secure and to settle them down. Congratulations to your new additional blessing!