Being angry with our husbands is usually never a good idea. Yet until the Lord (YHWH) changed my heart, I had an anger problem.
I used to be angry. I hardly remember the way I used to act and feel now, but I was reminded of my poor behavior earlier in the year.
We were driving down the highway, on the way to a vacation destination. It was raining. I honestly didn’t want to be driving down the highway. I honestly didn’t want to be driving through Atlanta. I had made a half-hearted attempt to convince my husband to drive back roads, but he didn’t think I was serious. I don’t know if I was serious, either! If we had avoided highways we would have added a lot of time to our trip.
We exited a tunnel, and were greeted with brake lights. Once we stopped, I started to cry. Y’all, I hardly even know why. I was just overwhelmed since I honestly hate the city and we were in the middle of a monsoon. I didn’t want us to be stuck there.
My husband didn’t expect my reaction, to be sure. He didn’t realize how I felt about the situation. Thankfully, our stop only lasted a couple of minutes. Once we were off once again, one of my daughters asked, “Dad, did Mom cry much while you were dating?”
I might be known for being a bit emotional, ha! My husband thought for a minute, and then said, “No.” I thought back too, and realized that he was right. I didn’t cry back then.
I got angry. If things didn’t go my way, I got angry. I felt like I was an “enlightened woman,” and feminist. Crying showed weakness. I couldn’t do that, could I? So instead of crying in stressful situations, I snapped in anger.
(My husband and I during my “angry phase.” Yep, you can tell I thought I was really something! I was something, alright. A fool.)
I replied, “I didn’t cry, but I sure was rude.” He nodded in agreement. “But when the Lord changed my heart, I started crying instead of yelling or being sarcastic when I’m frustrated.”
It’s amazing how the Lord changes our lives, isn’t it? Not that crying is the best response in the world, but it sure is better than being a contentious woman.
Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.
Proverbs 21:19 NKJV
He softened my heart and showed me a better way through His Word. Meekness and gentleness trump being controlling. Feminism is a sneaky lie and trap that the world wants us to believe in.
We don’t have to be tough, ladies. We don’t have to act like we know it all and that we don’t actually need our men. Trust me, I used to act this way. It is no way to live.
I was raised as a feminist, and I embraced it wholly until the Lord (YHWH) began to truly change my heart. Unfortunately, feminism creates a lot of angry women! They feel as if they were given a poor lot in life, and they must fight tooth and nail to claim the rights they “deserve.”
Now on the other side, I can clearly see how feminism is poison. It tried to pit myself against my husband in anger. It was self-seeking, and I made a fool out of myself instead of embracing the good design of God.
We were made to be helpers, not the ones in charge. When we disrupt God’s order, all kinds of bad things happen. We can see this clearly playing out in society now.
We must put our anger down at the feet of Yeshua (Jesus). Repent of it. And instead, turn to His Word to see what biblical womanhood is actually supposed to look like.
Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger— for human anger doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.
Jacob (James) 1:19-20 TLV
A changed heart is a beautiful thing. Once you turn to Him, slowly things in your life will begin to change. One day, your life will be unrecognizable, praise God. At least, that has been my experience.
My husband softened towards me as I softened. And do you know what he did when it was time to come home from that trip? He took back roads the whole way. Not the most practical thing to do, but he knew it would bless me.
Take heart, ladies. We can put anger and feminist lies aside, and instead, actually be feminine. Anger towards our husband which developed from selfish reasons is anything but that.
I hope you have a lovely day. Blessings to you and your family!