Growing in Quiet Femininity


As a wife and mom of nine, my hope is to live a life that is pleasing to God while being a light to my family. I want to live a modest lifestyle, which doesn’t just include clothing choices. Perhaps you feel the same.

With such a large brood, my home is rarely quiet. There are many sounds that buzz in my ears throughout the day. The noise is welcome…it means that our home is brimming with life!

I feel like we are entering a new season over here. My children are growing up right before my eyes, and those relationships are changing. At the same time, I’m realizing that I need to figure out new ways to navigate a couple of relationships outside of our home.

So while my home may be loud, I have been contemplative. I’ve been quieter. I’ve asked the Lord to show me ways that I can grow in His Ways, and how I need to handle these changing relationships.

The answer has been quietness. For over a decade now, I have learned more about femininity. Growing in my traditional gender role has been very important to me because it was not how I was raised. I feel like I missed so much and was involved in lots of foolishness when I was younger. A lot of time was wasted. At the same time, I realize that my upbringing helped push me to learn more about becoming a good wife and mother. For that I am thankful.

So while I’ve learned about taking better care of my family and the importance of being a stay-at-home mom for my children, there are other things that I’ve missed.

Related: A Married Woman’s Mission is Her Family

I’ve know that quietness is very precious in the sight of the Lord, but I haven’t quite applied it to my role as a mother. I want to be known for a quiet strength, not for a mouth that gives unwanted opinions. My own relationship with my mother is very strained, due to a multitude of unwanted opinions given throughout my adult life.

Sometimes I see glimpses of that in myself, and it makes me want to cry. With all of my being, I do not want to become the person who “nags” their adult children. At the same time, where is the the line drawn with children who still live in our household? With children who are unmarried? I believe with all of my heart that once children are married, all decisions that they make are between themselves and their husbands. But how do household rules come into play, especially when a lot of younger siblings are watching? These are issues I’m trying to work through.

While we of course need to guide our children in the truth, I feel like the Lord is continually bringing the topic of “quiet” femininity to my mind. It is something I need to learn more about. It is something I need to cultivate.

Related: Hope for My Children

And I think when I do cultivate this in my life, decisions about how to say things will become easier.

Being quiet doesn’t mean becoming a pushover. It means that you think before you speak, and that your words bring true value to the conversation.

It means that you trust in the Lord to fight your battles for you.

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”

Isaiah 30:15

In 1 Peter 3:4, we are told that a quiet and gentle spirit is very precious in the sight of God. This verse is written directly to women.

This is what I want my children to remember about me. I want them to remember a mother who had a gentle and quiet spirit. They surely see glimpses of this, but definitely not all of the time.

With the Lord’s help, I hope to continue growing in quiet femininity. It is a beautiful concept that we should learn to cultivate well!

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