Sometimes, I’m just in awe by what the Lord has done in my life. He has saved my soul, and has given me a beautiful family. My husband truly loves me, and I am able to stay at home with my children. These are all wonderful things!
And other times, I forget about my blessings and look at the negative things in my life instead. How foolish!
Let me tell you a little story.
In 2017, we decided in order to get out of debt we needed to move from our home. My husband found a better paying job in South Carolina, and we downgraded our house size.
The home we left was very nice, but to be honest, it was not my first choice of homes. It actually was a subject of contention between my husband and I. There was a home that I really wanted to purchase when we were searching for a house, but my husband wanted more land than it had. We ended up purchasing a lovely farmhouse on 12 acres in the country.
I admit I was bitter about it. I wanted to back out of the contract on a couple of occasions, but we did not. It was next to clear cut property, which I hated. Mold was found during an inspection, and although it was remediated, the mold level never normal in the basement. I was told that since the home was vacant, the mold would likely filter out of the home once someone moved in. Oh, did I want to back out! But my husband was determined to purchase this home!
On a side note, I would like to say that my behavior was terrible, and I was not a very supportive and submissive wife during this time period. The Lord has taught me a lot since then.
Once we moved in, we discovered that our power bill was $600 per month in the summer and winter. $600 per month! After we decided to pay off all of our debt, we knew that we could do so much easier without owning this home. It was in need of several renovations that we just couldn’t afford.
We lived there for almost five years. By the last year, the home had really grown on me. We felt the push to learn about homesteading, and being on 12 acres was helpful. The only problem is that most of the land was on an incline, and I was very averted to cutting any trees. I tried to learn all that I could about woodland homesteading.
I felt confident that it was the Lord’s will for us to move. In fact, I know it was! But at the same time, downgrading was hard. (We have since downgraded again, and now have moved up slightly to a fixer upper on a basement on five acres. My homestead dreams are coming true at this property!)
Anyhow, a few months after we sold our home on 12 acres, I saw that it was for sale again. I didn’t think much of it, but was kind of sad that it didn’t work out for the couple we sold it to.
My husband stays in contact with a few friends from that area, and one of them told him recently that he knew who was now living in our old home. Cool! They have an Instagram account, and are homesteading. They even rent out a campsite on the property.
So I decided to look at their Instagram account. And friends, it has made me so sad.
How crazy is that? This was a house that I never really loved. I was okay to move.
But to see someone else fulfill the same dreams I had while living there was hard. Especially because I felt like we couldn’t keep it for monetary reasons.
So I’ve done what any normal person would do. I take a look at their account on a regular basis to see what is going on at our old home. And I’ve thought things like…
“Why have they cut down so many trees?”
“Why did they paint the door pink?”
And I have asked God, “Why can they afford it, when we could not?”
Friends, this should not be so. While I’m so grateful that our old property is being well loved on, I also feel twinges of jealousy instead of looking at all the blessings the Lord has set before us.
And while we do not live in as nice of a home now, we actually own it. Like, the whole thing. We have zero debt, including a mortgage.
God has done great things for us. As he has for the new homeowners.
I shouldn’t be happy for them, and sad for me. God’s plan is greater than mine, and He knows infinitely more than I do.
From now on, I am going to purpose to choose joy, and to look forward. Not backward.
The Lord knows what He is doing. He has set us in the place we are now, and He wants us to steward it well. And that’s what I plan to do.
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